Parting is such Sweet Sorrow - Or is it?

Goodbye's are tricky - you hate some, you love some.

 Check out this song by Train - 50 Ways to say  goodbye

Imagine saying goodbye to the fab gal/guy you just met at the party or wherever and hit it off with.

You want to sleep,

you want to eat,

Every second your heart beep's,

It's her you want to always meet

Never part

Always in her arms

Till  suddenly one day

Your heart goes astray

You want out

Without a rout

You say goodbye

leave with a shout

Or what about that bore you met, who couldn't stop talking and boasting, how do you get rid of that person, without making them feel bad?  
What about that interesting and powerful person you met? You want to hang around him/her because you are enjoying yourself, you really dont want to say good bye.  
Saying Goodbye is an art. What to say in different situations and with elan is sheer artistry.!!!  
So what are the ways one says good bye and their meanings- lets check it out.

The Breakup Goodbye

1. The classic - Sweetheart - we need to talk - always dangerous!!!!
2. The hand wringing - Baby , i want to tell you something _ Oh Boy, are we in trouble". This is one goodbye which involves a lot of emotion, crying, time etc.
3. The Uppercut - The fastest goodbye - Baby - we're done. Bye!! This is one uppercut that floors you and leaves you on the ground stunned. Clean and efficient, does the job well!!!
4. The Insult -  Baby, you smell/fart/look like a dork etc..  or have you looked at yourself. Very demeaning and makes you feel like shit!
5. The Ignore - The cowards way out - Stop returning calls, messages, avoid the person on the street...
6. The Proxy - Send a message through someone or a courier - We're done!

Friendly Goodbye's

1. Classic - Bye , see you/ya, catch you later - all ok.
2. Let's catch up sometime -  How about never or if you call , shall consider! These are mostly always rendered without any contact details.
3. We must do this again - Swings both ways , depending on what tone and expression the other person used .
4. It's been nice meeting you - Like I care!!! But have a good life, dont bother meeting me in a hurry. Tell me your name next time we meet - I may not remember it..!!!
5. Bye, Bye, Bye , I gotta run or Somethings come up- The polite brush off, said to a person you would be happy to say goodbye and never meet.
6. So Give me your number and Lets get together sometime - A good sign that the meeting has gone off well... and there is a chance for something in the future.

GoodBye's related to work

1. Great doing business with you - Always a good sign - potential for the future.
2. Ok, Lets fix up something - In trouble pal!
3. Call me -  Disaster - almost never a good sign.
4. Listen, I gotta run, another meeting - Boy, am I glad to run. Byeeee and dont call again

I'm sure, there are many other ways to say . In fact , if you come across some good ones, be sure to let me know. Shall add it my repertoire..!!!

Breakup's and Life !

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me
Don't Hurt me
No more

and thus sang Haddaway in one of his most memorable compositions, that brought out his pain when he went through during his breakup.

So, everyone has a story to tell. Of his/her breakup, in school, college, work, life...  Breakups are never easy because the person who gets dumped is left with burning, lingering questions like - Whats wrong with me? What did I do wrong? Is he/she mad? Sometimes the truth is told and you slip deeper into depression or the truth is never told - some half truths like - its not your fault, its mine, I am just not ready for this relationship etc etc. 

Truth be told, we all know when the end of a relationship is near. But we hide, we ignore, the signs that are telling us to get out while the going is good. We hold out for that miracle that will get us back together again, make our lives as exciting and fun when we first met. It's a classic Ostrich in the sand maneuver- the world sees it (the end), your friend's see it, the other half knows it but you still persevere. That hope without hope, clutching at straws, trying to remain afloat, when all is lost. 

How is this related to your work or passion? Well, giving up and walking away is an art one has to learn. I'm not saying don't give it a shot, what I am saying is that if your head  tells you to get out, then get out. Don't listen to that inner voice that tells you to stay and try to make it. Knowing that you have failed, and willing to accept it, with the knowledge that you gave it your best is also an art that one has to learn. Sometimes, somethings are just not worth fighting for. So you need to leave your ego aside and move on.....

Choose your battles carefully!!!!

Love is like a rising stock in the stock market. When there is a bull run, the value rises like crazy but your head tells you that this is short lived, not going to last, that there will be a dip. But what do we do? feel good with the virtual profit, make merry, thinking the good times will roll, but one day we are in for a rude shock- the stock has crashed and you are left holding toilet paper!!!!

However, all is not lost. If you choose your love well (is that really possible!!!), there is a possibility that it can withstand multiple crashes and still come out a winner.  A lambi race ka ghoda/ghodi. 

Remember, learning to walk away when the writing is on the wall, facing it bravely, even when your heart  is crying with pain, and picking up the broken pieces before they have shattered into a million ones, is the true hallmark of a winner. The other is a devdas!!!!

THE MEANING OF LIFE

What a predictable pattern life weaves around us!! It never fails to amaze me. Let me put it in perspective :-

The Charmed Life

Children born under this tag have it made from the day they were conceived. The best gynaec, best foods, best care, regular check ups, Baby Showers, a customised room (Girly pink or Boy blue), the best gadgets to monitor the health, membership applications to the best clubs and schools, colleges (if you dont qualify for a good college, Dad shall give a generous endowment to get you in), a line of women/boys wanting to hook up, people sucking up to you, never having to hear the word "No", getting to see the world before you complete 21... and the list is endless. (Parties, balls, events, socials , hardly getting to see their parents and vice versa)
The flip side, what motivates this child? When nothing in life is a struggle, its easy to get into drugs for that high, into crime for that thrill, doing things  just because they can and becoming jaded by the age of 21. Some of the smarter ones pick up a hobby/interest and become masters in it and survive the stereotype. I mean, if you dont have to struggle for anything in life, you have to create your own obstacles, your own excitement, your own set of woes or life will be one long equilibrium and make you live in a false sense of reality. Sentences like "You dont know what living hell my life is" are quite common.. :)

The Middle Class Life

 Kids born into middle class families aspire to lead the The Charmed life. They grow up with about 20-60 % of the luxuries the rich kids grow up with. They seem to be more grounded. but most are amazingly insecure. They get many things (of lower quality) and therefore they have the fire to improve their lot to come up to the level of the richie rich. Most of these kids lead a very comfortable life, go to decent schools, have loving parents and friends and seem reasonably satisfied. They know that if they do the bare minimum, they can continue to do well  and lead a nice middle class ordinary life. Ideally speaking, these kids have the most balanced lives and one would expect them to be balanced. Many are.. but like everything else, they too fall prey to drugs, drink and other vices

The Poor Life

These kids have it bad. They rarely get anything they want. Its mostly hand-me-downs, leftovers and a whole lot of insults and pity. They are looked down upon because they are poor. Yes, some kind souls who lead the above two lives take pity on them and try to help them, but by the time they grow up, they have become "Maximizers". They don't think long term (They cant afford to!!!), get what they can NOW, and basically live life in the moment because they don't have a choice. Many of them continue in their miserable existence, roughing it out but those who cant, turn to crime, drugs, drinks and what all!!

These patterns pretty much cover the entire gamut of humanity across continents. Yes there are exceptions to the rule and some of them breakout to do different things, but largely, we all follow the script. Deviations from the script are not welcome as they rock our comfort zone. If nothing bad happens, and the comfort zone goes on for a longish duration, we are again very unhappy. That is the predictable pattern of life.  Just like leading a charmed life doesn't ensure happiness, leading a middle class or a poor one does not mean that you shall never experience happiness. It is all a state of mind!!!

We need to see life as it is. That the fundamental law of life is change. Ennui does not befit humanity. We have tried to make our lives predictable and safe, but our instincts make us change that to do dangerous things. For e.g. Skydiving. In the earlier days, humans had to save themselves from predators, so there used to be a thrill in life. You were always on the alert. Now a days, that threat has been diminished to a large extent, so people go and try out other dangerous stuff to give them that thrill.

So finally we come to the question that people have been asking since beginning of humanity - Why are we here? What is the meaning of our life? Why was I born? Where will all this take us? If we are all destined to die, then what is the point of it all. These are tough questions with no clear cut answers.

For some, the meaning of life is loving, caring, sharing their resources with others. For some its domination, for the others its enjoying all aspects of life without really worrying if others are having a good time. Everyone has a different reason to live. The moment we start thinking about "higher ideals", we feel lost and powerless. I mean, isn't it easier to say "I really don't care" what my life should mean. I am just living it and taking things as they come. Human beings need to do something to justify their existence, animals don't. They simply exist!

There is another issue. If every human being knows that he is going to die, then why are we born in the first place? God created this universe and everything in it. So if we were anyways going to die, why are we born in the first place. I mean, would you start an activity knowing that whatever you are going to do is going to be destroyed eventually! Some reasons are that we are born to :-

• make a difference in someone's life, 
• To improve our world
• To create bigger and better things

Is it true? Has my being born made life easier for someone? (human/animal). Have I really improved the world? Did the world need improving in the first place?? By creating bigger and better things have I achieved something or just justified my existence and ensured stroking my ego as I would be remembered for a long time to come (Taj Mahal, Pyramids etc).


Spiritualists say the meaning of life is to become one with god. Everyone gets a chance, through their actions and deeds, over lifetimes to achieve that. But again, who said that it was necessary to become one with god?
Or why is it necessary? These things are told to us because the truth is frightening. It is terrifying to be told that there is no reason for you to live. You just have to live or exist. Thats why so many deviations are built into our lives, so that we don't think about all this.

I feel the meaning of our life is to add balance to this universe. Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin. We as humans are born to add instability into the universe, because , if there is no instability, the universe cannot grow or  die. It shall remain in a state of equilibrium, which is boring. So enter human beings with their superior intellect. This so-called superior intellect ensures that we create imbalances, that forces the universe to respond to the change and in the process, create something new or destroy something. In fact, it is the imbalance that humans create, that allows the universe or nature to become stronger and survive. Its a different issue that changes like Global Warming, contributed to by Humans, shall in the long run prove detrimental to the survival of humans.It's just one way to keep us in check.

So, summing up, something evolved into humans or humans were created, as a result of Natures  stabilisation process.We are now de-stabilising that system with our actions. The result of our actions shall annihilate us (If you think nature cares if we survive or die, then think again!!!). We are just pawns in the larger game, which can never end.

How to Make India Safer For Women - Affirmative Democratic Action

The past few weeks in India have been positively horrendous, especially for women. Not a single day goes by without a news channel reporting some atrocity being committed on women - Rape, Molestation, Harassment, Female infanticide.... . The list is too long for comfort and is a damming indication of the misogynist  society that we live in,

The tipping point was reached when  a 23 yr old lady was brutally raped and battered by six men in a moving bus. Massive protests have taken place and will continue to take place till the government does not dispense justice to the girls parents. There have been numerous proposals for change in laws dealing with Rape, Molestation, Sexual Harassment , with most of the proposals proposing severe punishment  upto the Death Penalty. Many have cited the safety that women enjoy in the streets of Saudi/Dubai and have demanded that similar laws be enacted here. Basically, the public goaded by Police Inaction, Political Apathy and a general sense of "Kuch Nahi Ho sakta", have decided to take matters in their own hand and force the government and the police to take appropriate action. 

These protests, I feel, tend to die a natural death, because most of us don't have the time and resources to maintain sustained pressure on the government or police. The politicians know that and so do the police and therefore, most of the times, they just weather the storm (The Anna Hazare-Lokpal bill  is an excellent example). The only way, I feel positive changes  can  be made is by becoming a part of this very system and using the very laws that make us feel so helpless, to work for us by "Affirmative Action". Sitting by the wayside, protesting that something be done are effective only till a certain extent and rarely lead to lasting change. In some cases, the change itself is corrupted (Misuse of the dowry law by women has put women actually on the defensive). Therefore, balance in policy making and governance is the need of the hour and that would entail more women in the policy making process.  Some of the steps that WOMEN can take to improve their visibility in the policy making process are:-

1. Vote for Women candidates

50% (or less) of Indian voters are women. Many women contest elections but never win because women don't vote for them!. The big political parties  field very few women candidates and the independent women candidates, don't have a hope in hell to win. Even Women don't vote for them!!! Women argue that they are voting for the best candidate/party, but I guess the time has now come to become partial rather than impartial. Therefore, for all seats, if the women decide to vote for the woman candidate, It is but natural, that more women shall win and  automatically representation of women in parliament shall increase. Women would not need to ask for reservation in politics and we may not need the Women's reservation bill. 

2. Float a Political Party- Of Women, For Women and By Women.

How difficult is this? We have had women Prime Ministers, have Women Chief Ministers - So why Can't Women float their own Political Party and the Women of India support this party. I know, at the start, there may not be enough number of experienced women politicians, but give it time and I am sure, they can do the job entirely competently. Whether they turn out better or less corrupt than male politicians, only time will tell.

So, the above two steps will increase their representation, but what about society? Respect for women needs to be ingrained in men from birth. Some of the things can be done are:-

1. Mothers/Mother-in-Laws to sensitize their Male Children. 

 I feel Mothers have a very important role to play as they can influence their male children to be polite and teach respect to one and all, especially females right from childhood. This includes Mother-in-Laws especially, who are known to badger their Daughter-in-Law's for sons and kill them for dowry .Come on.. why should a woman mistreat a woman? She also has been in her place before...!!

2. Equal treatment to Male and Female children. 

 Mothers and fathers should not treat their male or female children differently. Equality in the family is the first step to equality in society.

Other things that can be done are:-

1. Increase the ratio of Women to Male Cops .The ratio should ideally be  50:50. Therefore, in every beat, there should be a Male-Female cop combo, so if cases of Rape/molestation etc are detected, hopefully, appropriate action would be taken immediately. For this to happen, women have to join the police and other forces in larger numbers.

2. Women should refuse to appear in media that exploits them. 

( This does not apply to women to want to do it- they are free to do it, but if that feeling is from commercial considerations, then the flip side is the effect on men, which can be unpredictable. So every choice has a flipside and a consequence, which may or may not be pleasant. It does not absolve the perpetrator of the crime but one has no way of knowing what someone is going to do ...so its a risk). 

I feel all women have a choice not to accede to the demands of producers and do stuff which objectifies them. If there is no supply, Obscenity shall reduce considerably and therefore media that arouses the baser instincts in males shall not be around to affect a large portion of the male populace. For e.g. The Item Number has become a "must-have" in most hindi movies. If all actresses refuse to do such numbers, automatically, the "Objectification" of women shall reduce as there is no woman who is willing to do such roles. Mother's should sensitise their sons on respecting women by not visiting prostitutes. No demand, no supply. Pure Economics. (Idealistic but I see no other way as all other approaches have failed).

6.  Say NO to the Casting Couch and Promotions for Favours at the Workplace. 

All women (easier said than done!) need to take a pledge that they would not submit to any form of sexual misconduct or suggestions that would help them to advance their career. Again, pure economics shall ensure the best person wins because there is no woman willing to compromise her way to the next promotion. So if supply is not there, automatically, over a period of time, such instances shall reduce and even be eliminated completely. This approach would fail even if one Woman breaks the code. Alternatively, woman entrepreneurs should give preference to women in jobs in their startups/businesses so that Women don't feel the need to succumb to such practices. They would need to carefully  tread the line for equal opportunity lest they be targeted for discrimination.

I know that all the suggestions above mandate women to take action and many shall object to the same. They want society to change their behaviour and perception towards women. But how does that happen? Sitting around and waiting for the past 60 years has not led to much change in the Indian heartland. For lasting change,  the issue has to be approached at multiple levels:-

a. Policy :- Policies favouring equal opportunities exist however, their implementation is flawed. If there is more representation of women in politics and the various National and State legislative machineries, no appreciable change in policy can take place. If more women are there in legislative positions, change will surely take place. 

b. Implementation. Implementation of various policies can take place only if there are enough foot soldiers to carry out instructions in letter and spirit. More women joining the para-military and police forces will automatically ensure that (empathy towards one's species). The number of vacancies in these institutions can increase only through legislation and therefore the need for more women in Policy making positions.

c. Unity:- All Indian women must first unite and take steps that forces men to view them as professionals and not objects of desire or the weaker sex. Any deviation would again result in regression and a "Divide and Rule"  policy being applied by males in power. 

Though crime statistics show that crime in cities is on the rise, the amount of crime that takes place in the villages of India is far more than our cities. The real challenge is breaching the feudal mindset of Indians. Reservations and Caste Politics have ensured that the Dalits (Untouchables) in the villages, today have considerable power in politics. They are forcing changes that give them more opportunities (reservations, promotions) over the upper class. The upper class does not like this but as a self correcting system, this change is being driven by politics and the power of a persons vote. Women need to recognise that power they have and instead of agitating, become a part of the system and then start to change it. 

If policy makers and the society at large are not doing enough to make this a safer and a more equal world for women, then the answer lies in using that very system to achieve your goals. The path is not easy, as things like floating a party, mobilising party workers, making fair legislation, implementing laws fairly (not targeting men for that will result in a backlash ) and in general grooming women not to fall prey to actions that objectify them, I feel in the next 10 yrs or so, visible and lasting changes shall take place and the world in general, shall be a safer place for women.

Therefore, the answer lies in taking up a more active role in changing our society. There are pitfalls, there will be aberrations and deviations but if one remains true to the cause, India and the world in general shall become a safer place for women. Do read an article "The Phoenix Shall rise" on the angst expressed by women

P.S. A word of caution. Women in power may not be much different than males and can be equally if not, more corrupt. There are enough examples. 

DISCLAIMER:- This article solely gives suggestions on ways and means on how life can be made safer for women. It does not promote or profess any form of Civil Disobedience, Anarchism or 

violence to achieve this. In fact, it only gives suggestions on achieving safety for women through legal and legislative means, within the scope of the law and constitution. The law of the land is supreme and so is the Constitution and nothing should be done to violate that. Only legal and legislative means should be adopted to introduce or modify laws.

The Power of Irrational Optimism - Caine's Arcade

At the start, here's wishing you all a Very Happy New (Gregorian) Year. My first post this year is on the power of Irrational Optimism. Many a times, in life, we are at the crossroad's, in our career, relationship and with ourselves (midlife crisis?), drifting along and not knowing what lies ahead. The fear of the unknown is what stops us, many times, from chasing our dreams. Whether by providence or the universe coming together to help you to achieve your dreams (The Secret - Rhonda Brynes), The first article I came across this year was of a 9 yr old entrepreneur called Caine Monroy, from East Los Angeles. Now, this event took place in early 2012 ( the late latif that I am, I came to know if it this year only!) and true to following the American Dream, Caine's website (http://www.cainesarcade.com) was setup to crowd source his college education and raise money for creative kids.

Caine Monroy, a 9 yr old boy, was given a set of cardboard boxes by his father, during his summer vacation, to do "something" with it. This little boy had an obsession with Arcade Games, so he spent his vacation time making an entire Arcade with games made from the Cardboard Boxes. He visualised the entire arcade, the games and prizes and also implemented the business model viz $1 for some 5 tries and $2 for a "FunPass" for one month. Incredible deal. See the video that captures his journey to stardom. Caine's story has some interesting takeaways that are worth mentioning and reiterating:-

1. Just Do It:- I know this is the Nike Logo but I love it. It epitomises action over endless analysis and planning. Though analysis and planning are important, many times we get caught in a trap of "Analysis Paralysis" wherein, a thousand demons and obstacles prevent us from doing what we want to. This little boy was given cardboard boxes and some other items and told to do whatever he wanted to. Instead of wailing and whining and just wasting time, he decided to do what he liked best - Play Arcade games, and Lo! behold, the Cardboard Arcade was born.

2. Unstructured Playtime. When I was a kid, there weren't too classes for dancing, singing etc, so my friends and I would make up stories, make makeshift castles, do role play (king, robbers, pirates, aliens) and pass out time. Though we did not realised it at that time, that time to ourselves, where we had to make up stuff to keep busy, was incredibly creative and forced us to use our brains. Caine, being lonely, and having not much to do (other than play video games), was forced to think beyond his brief to create his arcade. His dad never expected him to come up with something like that (He just wanted to keep his kid busy and out of his hair), was astonished at his son's achievement.

3. Optimism. Caine, with his entire Arcade and  fantastic business model, did not get a single customer the entire summer. It was just chance that Nirvan, a film maker, dropped by for something and what he saw inspired him to make a movie on the little boy's journey. The sheer irrational optimism of Caine, forced the universe to take cognizance of his effort and sent Nirvan around to help him. What happened was just out of a fairytale. The movie went viral, a flash mob was organised to come and play games in his arcade and a website was setup to fund his college education- All at the age of NINE.

Lessons that one can learn are:-

1. Let kids be. Give them time from video games and classes. Let them get bored so that they are able to come up with a solution to relieve them of their boredom.

2. Never stop believing and hoping, because that the only thing you have - Hope. If you hit Rock Bottom, the only way is up and if you are at the Top, if you don't evolve, the only way is down.

3. Its never to early or late to start. Limits exist only in our mind.

By the way , Forbes has also come with an article why Caine Monroy will be a Billionaire in 30 Years. 

Rashmi Bansal has also written a book on entrepreneurs of different types and her latest one on "A Poor Little Rich Slum" about entrepreneurs from Dharavi (Asia's largest Slum, maybe the worlds also) is also enlightening.

So, Summing up, Let 2013 be the year when you followed your dreams, what you love to do, rather than what you had to do. Make 2013 count in your calendar!!!

The Sum Total of Human Happiness

What a weird title!! If you feel so, believe me, I also feel it, but, that is what popped up into my head early morning today. What does it mean? You know..Sum- Total - a Tautology and Human Happiness.. !

What exactly constitutes happiness? and to what extent can we go to achieve it? Well, everything what humans have done so far, achieved so far, is to achieve this state of Happiness. So the question that naturally comes to mind is - Once we achieve this "Happiness" will we stop doing what we were doing and remain "Happy".  Hardly!! I would think -  Humans are not made for that!

Human beings are inherently un-happy when they are happy for a longish time. They feel dissatisfied, lost, unchallenged and whatever they did to achieve that "Happy State" is now relegated to the annals of history. I believe the day we feel Happy and contented, with wanting to achieve nothing else - that day is the Human race shall start its decline. The reason is simple - we need to keep thinking that there is something else that can make us happier than what we are presently and we need to achieve it.

The experts would have you believe that we are far happier than our ancestors - the cave men/women were. Why is that? Its because we live longer, healthier and in greater comfort (or atleast many do). Our lives are not in constant danger of attack by animals or left completely to the vagaries of nature. We have managed to control the effects these factors have on our survival. What, in effect, has been achieved is "A better survival rate" which has propelled the humans to increase their numbers to Six Billion People !!! But has this made us "Happier"?

Today, we hanker for happiness. We tell our kids - I shall be happy if you do this or just imagine How happy you will be if you to this.... and that.... and some more. So we keep slogging on, in search of that elusive Happy State that keeps showing us glimpses and then disappears, forcing us to work for it again. The employee working hard for promotion, the employer working hard to make more money, the student studying to get more marks, the salesman trying to sell one more item, the athlete trying to finish the race one second quicker.... we are consumed by these thoughts and all our efforts are towards achieving the Holy Grail of happiness.

Levels of happiness differ or have been made to differ, so that aspirations to achieve that one extra milestone shall always be there. I mean, if humans were happy with the animal cart - there would be no Bicycle, scooter, car, airplane etc. So If I owned an animal cart and so did my other neighbours, would I be happy for them? Chances are that I am un happy. If my neighbour has the same stuff as I have, whats the fun in that ?

The same applies to other possessions- There is always a better AC, Fridge, Car, Hotel, road, house, boat etc to aspire for. Our happiness does not stem from the fact that our peers have what we have, rather, its what I have and what he does not have, makes me happy!! Our level of happiness is relative to the other persons misery. The thought "I am atleast better off than that guy... look at his problems, he is sc*****, Thank god I'm OK , make us far happier, than " Wow, look at him/her, great car, house, wife etc", I too have all that but I am still not satisfied.

Can we stop feeling this way ? I don't think so. There is nothing that we can do about it- Its our natural instinct - The only people who are genuinely happy for you are your immediate family as what ever you do, it reflects on them too... :)

The concept of "Settling Down" is to achieve a steady state of Happiness. Get an education, Wife/GF/Husband, house, Kids, steady job/business- takes about 30 years, but yeah- one does get there and this steady state lasts for exactly maybe two months, after which boredom (read Un Happy) sets in and we start looking out for more. So thus follow movies, shopping, travelling, eating out, activities - in other words - Lifestyle. The bar for happiness keeps changing higher and higher ........

So summing it all up: The Sum Total of Human Happiness lies in being happy at this moment in what ever you do or achieve, because once achieved, the happiness derived from that achievement is a diminishing return. Children laugh a lot because they dont say that "I shall be happy when I achieve this or that" and then only shall I laugh. So, Be happy in the Moment , because that is the happiest you shall ever be.

That Sinking Feeling - The Demons Within

Have you ever experienced "that sinking feeling"?, where in you feel that something bad is about to happen and that there is nothing you can do to prevent it? Your mind plays tricks on you, ghastly scenarios that  show you as a pauper, greviously injured or just wasting away at a hospital- cloud your mind. Your heart rate increases, your breathing is ragged, your eyes wander around aimlessly in panic and there is a feeling of total despair - There is no hope, there is nothing you can do- in short you're doomed!!!!!

Well, if you have, welcome to the legions of people who have and if you haven't , then its only a matter of time when it shall strike you. Sounds absolutely fatalistic, does it not? Well, the human mind is the ultimate reality that you shall encounter and believe me, the day it decides to take you on the trip mentioned above, you can only weather the storm and brave it out. The mind, brain, fantasy, reality - call it whatever you want to - the only truth is what it makes us believe. That truth is your truth. The reality may be different - like what is twilight to someone may be Dawn to another. If the majority of people call it Dawn, you accept and ignore the one that calls it twilight. This means what the majority wants, becomes the reality. If you want to protect your reality, then you need to start protecting what you feel makes it real. You need to have the force to ensure it by disposing off the disbelievers.

But what can you do about that feeling of total despair, hopelessness? The only way, my friend, is to weather it out. You need to accept the fact that the sinking feeling is due to many fears that exist in your mind manifesting themselves. Those very fears that lay deep within the dark recesses of your mind and work their way into your memories, just waiting to be triggered, could mean the difference between your life, sanity or death.

The mind is a strange and a wonderful thing. Can  you control it? Well If you can, the sky is the limit for you, you can achieve anything. If you become a slave to your mind, then your life can be hell because you can't control what you feel or what you want to do. In brief - That sinking feeling shall be more of a regular occurrence and you shall be miserable through out your life. Your negative thoughts influence the atmosphere around you and, in general, misery shall prevail.

So what is the solution? Its quite simple really. You need to confront your fears - What is it that is troubling you? Be honest and the answer shall surprise and liberate you at the same time.

Once you've confronted your fears, you need  ask your self "What is the worst that can happen"? Once you have got that answer(and it wont be something that you like!!) You need to find solutions to it. Dont try to go at it alone, Ask your friends, family, relatives... even your boss. You shall find people are only too glad to help you. In fact, they love it!!! and most of the advice they give you shall be reasonably sound.. :)

The takeaway from this post is simple - There is no where to run, no where to hide-especially when it concerns your mind. You need to buckle down, face the fact, accept the problem and then strangely enough- You shall be liberated from that sinking feeling. The demons shall no longer have a hold on you. You are free because you know what you want to do and what shall make you happy.. :)